A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone. The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. The baker gives him the cookie which the Scotsman promptly eats. Then he says to the baker: "Give me another cookie for my magic trick.
A man queuing for Jono and Ben tickets asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. He was filming on a selfie stick. Now I've learned from many horrific experiences that selfie sticks are a big red flag. I responded honestly, from my heart: "I can't think of anything I would less like to do in my life!
New Zealand humour bears some similarities to the body of humour of many other English-speaking countries. There are, however, several regional differences. New Zealand is a country that is isolated from much of the rest of the world geographically, culturally, socially and gastronomically.
Johnson opened his two-day trip with a visit to a marae, or Maori meeting house, in Kaikoura, the South Island town that was hit by a massive earthquake last year. While there he was greeted with a hongi, the Maori welcome which involves two people pressing their noses together. Johnson is on a two-day visit to New Zealand which is expected to focus on trade, foreign policy and international security issues. Johnson has a history of blunders, including touting the trade benefits of Scotch whisky in a Sikh temple earlier this year, before being told that alcohol was against the religion.